I have been working a lot in the past 2 weeks. A lot of work coinciding with a lot university it has made me really stressed. But back to the latter, as I said, I have been working heaps lately. I like to think I am pretty good at my job. I have been there for over 5 years so I really hope I’m right. Now in being competent with my work I require little mental awareness while working and thus I am free to drift off into my own little world full of my seemingly dreamy and ludicrous thought processes and scarily realistic epiphanies.
This week I have been philosophising more than usual, I have also frequently attained a sense of awareness that I didn’t posses before which is making me realise more and more about the world around me. I am becoming myself, I am creating myself, I am acquainted with the understanding of how the world works and I DO NOT LIKE IT. I am learning with in myself just how to live, I am realising what I have to do to live and I can now fathom the odds that one could be truly alive. I am becoming alive.
I have so much to say and so many people to say it to. I wish I could put into my words in this post all of my thoughts, feelings and passion. Unfortunately although this mass of text I really can only touch on the surface my unorganised disarray of cognisance. If you would like a simple summary of everything this post is about, you could walk away with “follow your heart” and I would be thrilled. Although I would be more thrilled however if you read this and in someway, somehow, it bettered your life.
Now look, I could exclaim “I’m getting so bloody old!” only to be retorted by some 45 year old parent who’s reply is a sarcastic incantation somewhere along the lines of “HA, Yeah, Nineteen is SOOOOOOOOOOOO old.” But how dare you tell me that I am not getting old, how dare you jeer at the fact I am disappointed in my inevitable ageing. I have already wasted a good 3rd of my fully abled body’s life span on sitting in the same town, doing the same thing, every single day, AND I’M SICK OF IT.
I look at people who spend their whole lives aspiring to achieve academically, to get some magnificent job, AND FOR FUCKING WHAT? So they can make a shit load of money, so they can buy an expensive car, so they can drive that car to their extravagant house, full of brand new technology, so they can sit in front of it wasting away their lives with synthetic replacements for the outside world in a pathetic pseudo bliss that they have made something of themselves? It disgusts me that someone could find happiness in this. They have not lived! They have not achieved! They have conformed exactly to the life that the Government and huge, powerful corporations who essentially run the world want us to conform to.
There is too much order in the world. It wasn’t like this in the beginning. We didn’t have to go to school for 12 years, we didn’t have to have a passport, ID and fixed address. Unfortunatly the world has been taken over to a point where you have most of your life planned out and run for you. You are born, you are told you must learn so not knowing any better you march off to school like a good little soldier for 12 years, at the end of this you are told that you should either find a job now or learn some more at a higher education facility. So you pick your path (finally you get to make a decision, even if it is between either A or B), you start making money and putting it in the bank, after a while it becomes a social implication that you should now move out of home and into your own place, where you have to buy your new appliances from a big money hungry corporation who doesn’t care if they make you happy, who cares solely about seperating you from your money. You pay your bills, you get promoted, you get more money and eventully you just buy more expensive, commercial unnecessary crap. We are made to belive we need all these things when we don’t. We are brainwashed into thinking that life is this, birth, education, work, death.
I cannot understand how someone can work for a entire year or their life, have 3 weeks off at the end of the year to go on a cruise or other commercially plugged, expensive, boring vacation and then feel like they have had a great year with a great reward at the end and then happily march back to work next year, IT IS JUST NOT JUSTIFIED. The worst thing is that even though I’m saying all this, even though I know in my head it’s true. It will probably not change a single way you live you life and it will be difficult for me to let it impact mine (although I am determined it will).
So that is the reason I am posting this. If I tell myself I am going to do something then I will. So here is the deal. I’m going keep conforming for a little longer, I’ll work up my bank balance, I’ll save a little so I have some safety money, I’ll save enough for a ticket and then I’ll fly somewhere out of the ordinary, somewhere with a little less order and instead of having a stiff, strict old plan with places to stay, things to do, I will take nothing but the clothes I need, some essentials, a camera and a note pad. I will meet people, find things to do, find places to stay and find my own way around. I will live my life.
In researching all about this endeavour I found this site that anyone who shares the same values as me should check out Travel the world for free.
Now this is all just my opinion. I strongly believe this is how everything is. But just like I hate religion I would be a narcissistic hypocrite to try and push my ideals onto others. This post is on my blog because it is a part of me and because I want to express myself. Feel free to take my words and my ideals and use them as you wish or feel free to disagree completely and forget you even read this. Life if yours for the taking and you are yourself in the making.
I just know that, when I have seen amazing things, been amazing places, done incredible feats and met incredible people.
That’s when I will feel accomplished, that’s when I will know I’m alive.
-China seems like a good place to start.
On top of trying to stress how people are not living to their full potential and how I want to. I am also posting this blog as an invite. I am looking for someone who is willing to travel with me.
Live your life!
Follow your heart!